Changing Your Mindset - Why Affirmations Alone Aren't Enough
If you’ve ever tried to change the way you think, you’ve probably come across affirmations. They’re those simple, positive statements meant to make you feel more confident, motivated, or calm. But let’s be honest: repeating “I am happy” or “I love myself” doesn’t always hit home when you’re stuck in a mental rut.
I know because I’ve been there. For years, I felt trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and frustration, wondering why I couldn’t just think my way into feeling better. I tried affirmations, but they weren’t enough to break the hold my mindset had on me.
What finally helped was pairing affirmations with action, honesty, and a realistic approach to rewiring my thinking. If you’ve ever felt stuck or like you’re fighting your own mind, this is for you.
Why Affirmations Alone Don’t Work
Here’s the thing: affirmations aren’t magic spells. They can set the tone for positivity, but they won’t fix the underlying issues or break deeply ingrained thought patterns on their own.
Think of it like this: affirmations are like seeds. If you plant them in rocky soil, they won’t grow. But if you pair them with intentional action—like cultivating healthier habits and reframing your thoughts—you can create the conditions for real growth.
What Helped Me: Realistic Mindset Shifts
1. Reframe Your Thoughts in a Way That Feels Real
Let’s be honest: sometimes you’re just not in the mood for toxic positivity. You’re tired, upset, or annoyed, and trying to say “Everything is great” feels fake. So I stopped forcing it.
When I catch myself spiraling, I literally say out loud:
"F this, I’m not going to be negative today. I’m happy, I’m in a good mood, and if I mess up, I’ll try again tomorrow.”
This isn’t about denying how I feel—it’s about giving myself permission to reset. By acknowledging where I’m at and choosing to move forward, I’ve created a realistic way to interrupt my negativity.
Try This:
When you’re having a tough moment, call it out. Say something like, “This sucks right now, but I’m not staying here. I’m choosing a better mood, and tomorrow is another chance.”
2. Pair Affirmations with Action
Saying “I am confident” didn’t make me confident. But taking small, deliberate actions—like speaking up in a meeting or trying something new—helped me feel that way over time.
Instead of just saying the words, ask yourself: What’s one thing I can do right now to align with this affirmation? For me, it was simple things like writing down my goals or organizing my space to feel more in control.
Try This:
Write down an affirmation (e.g., “I’m capable of handling challenges.”). Then, write one small action to back it up (e.g., “I’ll tackle one difficult task today.”).
3. Make Peace with Progress, Not Perfection
I used to get so frustrated when I’d fall back into old thought patterns, thinking I was failing. But I realized that changing your mindset isn’t about being perfect—it’s about trying again, no matter how many times you stumble.
When I started giving myself grace, I felt less pressure to “fix” everything overnight. I reminded myself that every small step forward counts, even if it’s just deciding to try again tomorrow.
Try This:
When you catch yourself slipping into negativity, say, “It’s okay. This is just one moment, not the whole story. I’ll do better next time.”
4. Change Your Environment to Support Your Mindset
Sometimes, it’s not just about what’s in your head—it’s about what’s around you. I started paying attention to the things that fueled my negativity, like toxic social media accounts or conversations that drained me. By cutting those out and surrounding myself with more positivity, I created a better space for my mind to thrive.
Try This:
Unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate or stressed, and follow ones that inspire or uplift you.
Create a playlist of songs that instantly put you in a good mood.
5. Speak to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
This one took time for me. When I’d mess up, I’d say things to myself that I’d never dream of saying to someone I cared about. But when I started talking to myself with kindness—even when I didn’t feel like it—it made a huge difference.
Try This:
When you catch yourself being overly critical, ask: “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If not, reframe it into something more constructive.
The Mindset Shift That Lasts
Changing your mindset isn’t about forcing positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about finding realistic, practical ways to navigate your thoughts and emotions while giving yourself grace along the way.
Affirmations are just one tool in the toolbox. To create real change, pair them with action, self-reflection, and the courage to reset when things don’t go as planned.
If you’re tired of feeling tired—from your thoughts, your frustrations, or your doubts—know this: change is possible. And it starts with the smallest step forward.
What’s one thought you’ll choose to reframe today?
